Kneeling at the altar,
controlling the heart’s retching,
I sat, head bowed, eyes closed,
Saw two friends passing by,
hand in hand, playful.
My heart retched,
eyes clouded, and drops spilled,
Onto the floor,
for the idol to see,
I cried at my loneliness.
Put my head to the pedestal
and prayed, I talked,
Told God of my loneliness.
How I wish I had a dear friend
Who knew all my secrets.
Whose secrets I knew,
We could walk hand in hand,
On the same roads, trudged along daily,
So that I could not feel the pain,
Both physical and mental.
My muscles ached, My legs pained,
Reminded me of the pain,
Self-inflicted, every morning,
For which I get up early unfailingly,
The pain which masks the pain within.
Getting up, I met the next god,
“Torment the torment that torments me within”
I thought, dragging me, relaxing with the pain.
I gasped, I yelped, almost,
At the sight before me, in front of the idol.
There stood a peacock, in full glory,
Full plumed just a hand’s distance away,
A dance, plumes shimmered with sunlight.
Heart raced with joy, I thanked God,
For the small moment of happiness, Lonely Happiness.
