After receiving concern over the troubles I have in sleeping at the place where I stay (that is a lie! Only I have expressed concern) I decided enough is enough! I made a resolve to talk to my roomie openly about how his “shutting - the - door - in - the - peace - of - the - night - especially when - I - AM - SLEEPING” (I AM SLEEPING in caps. Not a typo) affects me and my daily routine altogether (seriously!) I have never done this before so I have no forehand knowledge about how to talk brazenly to him about how he shuts the door!
He found the most opportune moment to make fun of me yesterday morning about how I got up from bed late by 15 minutes (15 minutes does not make much of a difference ! but still I would love to sleep soundly at least when I sleep). That was it. Sirens blew. Bells rang. And steam came out of my ears. I was on a roll. I told him (no I was ’slamming’ words into his face)
Serve 1: “Yes how can I sleep when there is no peace and quiet?”
Hit 2: “I slept peacefully when you were out of town for 2 weeks” (Ouch! That sounds pretty harsh!)
Slam 3: “You close the door with a bang and switch on the light just when I am going into sleep!”
Game point: “Let me demonstrate how to close the door” … And I had the audacity to show him how to close the door without making a noise!
Applause! I won the match! He was confused, dumbstruck and clueless all at the same time. He said “I will take care of it from now on”.
After my exciting Wimbeldonic win over my unmatched opponent I come to the room in the evening to find a new roomie. He didn’t have an extra bed. Nor did he bang doors or switch on lights. He/She was plain irritating sitting on the wall and irritating me (See I used two ‘irritating’ s in the same sentence. Making me sleepless thinking he will fall on me.) I hate lizards! Tell me there is a lizard in the room, I won’t get sleep till I see it and its stinking tail out of my room! I have an imaginative mind (an understatement). I always imagine this: “Around 2 a.m. I am sleeping with my mouth wide open. A lizard crawls on the ceiling just above me. He sees something worthy of a late night snack and jumps to grab it. In the process he slips and falls… falls directly to… NOOOOOO! I wake up with a start!” Yuck! And then there is this sequence when the lizard loses balance and falls into the fan (which is swithced on obviously) and gets shredded and … please stop squirming in your seats! I don’t create these they just come to me, these imaginative sequences! Don’t scold me!
Now I know my roomie has left the door open (I told you he was forgetful, remember!) and Mr.Lizard who is probably in his adolescent age has barged in without paying neither rent nor advance. Nice way to get back at me Mr.roomie! Huh. I finally hit the sack at around 10:00. It must have been 11:00 when my roomie turned up after his night-prowl! He opened the door slowly and entered like a thief and closed the door soflty! (I won !I won! I lifted the Wimbeldon cup and kissed it!) You must be asking how I know this? I was faking sleep. Cheap huh? No, I had to do that. Had I woken up he would have thought “No matter how softly I close the door this guy would wake up” and he would returned back to his old ways. So I lay still like a log and gave him the idea that he had perfectly mastered the art of closing doors. He switched on THAT light. But again he switched it off in less than 2 minutes.
But I was unable to sleep.
The lizard was falling .. falling .. falling..
in slow motion..
over .. over …over…
in deep sleep… mouth open.. falling.. wiggling tail… Yuck!
Goodnight! (Sarcastically!)
